Ok, so I was not brave enough to withstand the wind, rain, and pain (my leg hurt) and visit Warwick Castle.  I am such a wuss about those things.  It’s not like I am going to melt or anything.  So, I am thinking about going this Sunday, why Sunday you ask?  I saw on the website that in May and June on Sundays it’s £10 instead of £17, which would save me some money and I could use it to pay for the parking.  So, I am not going to totally commit, but I will think about it.

So, my existential angst is not just me.  Not sure if I feel better about it because then there’s millions of people (statistically speaking) that are in the same boat as I am.  I do not necessarily believe this is a good thing.  To me then there’s not a lot of people out there who are striving to be the one to cure cancer, or find the Holy Grail, or be those annoyingly satisfied people who are doing what they love.

Or maybe, I don’t want to be a statistic.  Maybe I don’t want to be “one of them”.  But if not “them” then who? I re-read Beth’s comment and she was saying that she does not believe she will get an “aha” moment of clarity of what to do with her life.  After reading that and I began to think, well, hell, I really do she had an “aha” moment.  She decided she wanted to work for herself and start her own business as a copywriter (www.lifeonavenuez.com - I put her link on my page).  Beth – that’s your “aha” moment and you went for it.  Where you go from there, is where you are now.  Building your business and doing what you love, writing.  You also wrote a book, and been published.  You are a writer, and I know that’s what you love doing.  Kudos, I am not only extremely proud, but somewhat envious.

For me, I don’t have a vision to be anything, which is really the source of my angst.  I have no focus to be something.  I once, no, I have said many times, that I feel that I have led a boring life.  I know before any of you think it . . . what?!? I know I have done things that others have not, and I will continue to do things, but I feel it’s the same as wanting to be a doctor or something.  I like my job, I am not sure if I could ever say I love my job.  I like the people I work for and with (most of them at least – hee hee hee).

Until something comes along, I figure I will take everyones advice and just chill.  Maybe I am thinking too hard, and I need to just enjoy what’s out there.  What path to take?  Right now I am on the UK path.  Who knows what doors/paths there will be tomorrow or the day after.  I think the chocolate is working. :}